Have you ever imagined trusting yourself so much that you can do anything in life? For instance, you can ask your boss for a promotion because you know that you deserve it with your successful work history. You can ask a potential partner out or flirt with him/her easily knowing that you are an amazing catch, and they are lucky to have you. You can try new hobbies because you are confident about your talents, and you are easy on yourself knowing that you are doing them for fun. You can talk to strangers easily as you know you are an interesting, approachable, charming person and anyone would love to talk to you. Can you imagine how your life can improve and open to new possibilities when you have healthy self-esteem? Can you see how much you can gain and achieve in your life in every way (romantic, business/finances, social, emotional etc.) and how much your life can flourish bringing you many new opportunities regularly?

Some people are lucky enough to have this kind of mentality and inner assets within themselves. However, many of us need to build them ourselves along the way. We need to look within ourselves, observe our self-defeating thoughts, catch the habitual negative self-talk that has been ruminating in our minds for so long, and change every one of them, one at a time. Most of these self-defeating, negative thoughts and beliefs are learned things either from our family as a child or through the negative life experiences we had as an adult or while growing up. However, the good news is that anything that is learned can be unlearned! 

Let us start by checking what self-esteem actually is: Self-esteem is the confidence that a person has in their own worth. Regarding yourself as valuable and deserving, treating yourself with respect, and feeling good about yourself knowing that you are whole, perfect, and complete as you are. Having self-love and unconditional positive self-regard. 

Having positive and healthy self-esteem is a crucial factor in being emotionally healthy and when you are emotionally healthy, life opens for you in many wonderful ways. You are more positive and expect only good things to come your way. You have closer relationships with people and have the motivation to be out there living your life fully. You are more motivated and have internal energy to do the things you want to do in life and are more eager to take action towards your goals. All of which are the main sources of creating a happy life.

Unfortunately, for individuals with low self-esteem, things are quite different. They tend to have a harsh inner voice that is always critiquing them. Every single negative experience setback or a negative comment from an outsider may have a consuming effect on them. They are more inclined to be consumed with negative self-talk or self-hate because of undesirable life situations. They tend to fear failure, scared of social settings, have a lack motivation, have chronic dissatisfaction with their appearance, or have a habit of comparing themselves unfavorably with others, and poor personal relationships.If low self-esteem is neglected for too long, it can lead to serious consequences such as isolation, depression, and even suicidal thoughts.

On the other hand, people with high self-esteem might still get hurt from such negative things that happen in their life, but they can bounce back easier. They will actively think reassuring thoughts to combat the negativity, knowing that the things that are happening outside do not have the power to damage their inner worth. 

Causes of Low Self-Esteem

There are several reasons why someone could have a low sense of self or self-esteem. 

Individuals that faced abuse or neglect in their household when they were growing up tend to have low self-esteem as adults. Children of parents who are addicted to drugs can be victims of low self-esteem since the parent’s addiction to drugs resulted in neglecting their child. Children who witnessed an abusive relationship between their parents might also suffer from low self-esteem. Their parents did not have the full mental and emotional capacity it takes to nurture a child when they were young. 

Also, children that grow up in households with parents who have low self-esteem might have low self-esteem because that is all they witnessed as a child. 

On the other hand, childhood dysfunction is not the only cause of low self-esteem. Children that grew up in loving homes where they were recognized and nurtured can also grow up to have low self-esteem. A traumatic life experience during adulthood can cause a person’s self-esteem to diminish. An adult who has been in a toxic relationship with a partner might struggle with self-esteem.

It does not have to be a traumatic event for your self-esteem to suffer. Challenges such as financial hardships, losing a job or failing at a hobby can all negatively harm someone’s self-esteem. 

Using Hypnotherapy to Build Self-Esteem

Hypnotherapy has been profoundly beneficial in helping individuals that suffer from low self-esteem. Hypnotherapy targets the same subconscious part of the mind where low self-esteem is born. It has the power to help shift the client’s thoughts to more positive ones. It assists the client to learn to accept and respect themselves as they are and realize their self-worth.

 The therapist and client work together to understand the client’s issues and goals as well as where their self-esteem issue is coming from. They also figure out if the client has the right amount of motivation to make positive changes and help them increase that motivation if needed. 

Through deep relaxation, visualization, the power of suggestions, and other hypnotic techniques, the client’s thoughts, feelings, attitudes, and beliefs about themselves are altered and changed to positive counterparts that are much more beneficial for themselves leading to happier lives.